When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
I may not always be right, but I am never wrong
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car
I can resist everything except temptation
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
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