Chuck Norris Facebook Status Update

1. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
2. Death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
3. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
4. Chuck Norris can kill 2 boulders with 1 bird.
5. Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife through butter.
6. Chuck Norris was once pulled over by a cop. The cop was lucky enough to leave with a warning.
7. The boogeyman checks his closet every night for Chuck Norris.
8. Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
9. When you misspell Chuck Norris on google it doesn't come up with "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It says "Run while you can."
10. Chuck Norris is the only one that can hate "Raymond" and love "Chris."