4th of July Status Update

1. Better to starve free than be a fat slave.
2. All hail John Hancock!
3. 'Merica!!! Fuck YEAH!
4. The only country that regulates alcohol more than guns.
5. America, get a degree in anything, even hamburgers.
6. America, is this is what we've become.
7. America, where 33% of the population doesn't believe in evolution, true fact.
8. Every year millions of Americans drive to the nations capital to protest global warming.