Good Try... But NO!

Never Any Luck For Brian...

Annoying Facebook Girl

Funny Summer Statuses

1. Summer, when air pollution is much hotter.
2. I wish mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
3. That disgusting moment when your friend pees in you pool.
4. Summer... finally got my six pack abs and six pack of beer.
5. Must fit myself in refrigerator.
6. If friends hear about my pool, they'll ask to come everyday!
7. Summer, a.k.a. gain as much weight as possible.
8. Summer, the only time where I call my designated driver over 50 times.

Shit Happens

Wanna see our funny 4th of July Statuses.
Click the link.

4th of July Status Update

1. Better to starve free than be a fat slave.
2. All hail John Hancock!
3. 'Merica!!! Fuck YEAH!
4. The only country that regulates alcohol more than guns.
5. America, get a degree in anything, even hamburgers.
6. America, is this is what we've become.
7. America, where 33% of the population doesn't believe in evolution, true fact.
8. Every year millions of Americans drive to the nations capital to protest global warming.

Fun things to do on Facebook

1. Change your name to "Nobody" and then like tons of statuses. Then all the statuses will say "Nobody likes this"
2. Change your name to different languages
3. Change your religious and political views to something crazy
4. Friend request random people, then once accepted poke them constantly
5. Tag friends in other friends photos, especially friends that they don't know
6. Update your status to bizarre stuff, like about taking a shower or taking a crap
7. Change your name to someone famous
8. TROLL people

The Truths of Facebook

1. Truth is... No one cares
2. I'll give a rate... No one cares
3. You keep posting about you personal problems... I'm sure that will help you forget
4. You keep posting about your swag...please tell me more
5. You post about Kony 2012 and get likes... you must be quite the hero
6. You get in a fight on Facebook... tell me more of how much an idiot the other person is
7. You post about people you hate in school... way to say it to their face
8. Famous people die... please tell me more on how you are such a big fan

AMEN

Genius Meme

No Hope For Human Race...

1. Eat right, Exercise right, Sleep right, Die anyways...
2. I promise to be productive with my life tomorrow... Ends up spending whole day on Facebook.
3. I'm so unsuccessful, I make Bad Luck Brian look good.
4. When you have Facebook, you spend all day on Facebook. When you spend all day on Facebook, you get mad. When you get mad you throw the remote. When you throw the remote, your daughter imitates. When your daughter imitates, she get thrown out of school. When she gets thrown out of school, she meets undesirables. When she meets undesirables, she ties the knot with undesirables. When she ties the knot with undesirables, you get a grandson with a dog collar. Don't get a grandson with a dog collar. Switch to Twitter.